HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN ARGUING AND TALKING BACK

Sometimes conversation with our children could turn into arguments.If this happens and you suddenly find yourself in a very hot argument,and you get caught in your words,you feel very bad as a parent that you overreact to your child.

Gradually this action might be endearing,but on a day to day basis it becomes something you don't like,frustrating and it affect the family.

Learning to stop this bad attitude in our children does not have to be difficult but it requires some efforts from parents.

Firstly, parents need to be ready to listen to their children completely.

Secondly,parent should be have a well spelt out rule to guide their child's attitude.

Parents should be ready to consistently stick to their guns when it comes to saying "NO" to their children.Don't say a no in a moment and change it again.Lean to be firm with your decisions expecially when you need to,no matter their whining and "making of face".

NAGGING CHILDREN

Some children will repeat a request time and again,sometimes at odd moments.No matter what the occasion the child present,and the argument that follows the request parent should not bother to repeat their answer.say what you have to say only once and don't repeat yourself again.You may even walk away or ignore the child.Don't allow his endless repetition wear you out to succumb to his wishes.

COMPLAINING CHILDREN

Some of them may not be happy with your decision and they show it to you.

They may even murmur all the way to show their disapproval through completing the task given to them.Eventually when they notice that no amount of complaining changes anything,they quit.

NOTE:

If the child becomes rude or disrespectful in his complaint,it is time to bring down the consequences of his behavior.

Dealing with his lack of compliance doesn"t have to result in argument.Perhaps the easiest way to prevent such is to have some'ground rules'.You need to take time to explain that every good debate needs rules,they will be happy to listen to you.This is best done when there is no argument,not In the midst of argument.

RULES TO BE DISCUSS:

• NO SCREAMING,YELLING,AND ABUSIVE LANGUAGE.
• VOICES REMAIN AT NORMAL LEVEL
• EVERY PERSON IS ALLOWED TO FINISH THEIR SENTENCES
• NO SARCASM.Parents can use end of discussion statement,such as:"this topic is no longer open for discussion"

Another way to stop argument is to offer other choices for a child.And if they would not want to take this,parent should remain firm on their resolution.

If you have a child that has added disrespectful back talking to his way of communication within the family,it is good to announce that such behavior will no longer be put up with.Show them a number of consequences that will follow their back talking.They should increase in seriousness.You may begin with simple loses of privileges,such as no watching of video games for the day,no use of phone,and anything else that you know will touch the child ,and will remind him that talking back is no longer a profitable business.

It is very important for these consequences to be clear to the child,and also what constitute an offense.Once this is clear to the child it is now left for you to actually follow through on these rules that you laid down.Know this that the child will like to test your resolve,so you have to be prepared!

THREE TIPS TO DEAL WITH THEM

1. Stop the conversation as soon as your child becomes respectful
2. Walk away from your child and do not allow yourself to get drown into battle of words.
3. Once you both have cooled down,it is time to mete out a previously agreed upon consequences.

If after all these you still notice a particular phrase or method of communication is out of character for your child,recognise that you have to take the pain of explaining why a certain phrase is disrespectful and why you will not permit him to use it again.

It is also very important as parents to commit our children into God's hands.God can touch their heart and change them for good.And we we as parents will have the desired peace in the family.