Disciplining children can be a nightmare but there are things we can do as parents and carers to make things easier for ourselves. I taught my kids at a young age that there are certain consequences for our actions, whether good or bad.
When our kids learn to accept certain laws and abide by them it makes discipline so much easier. These are just a few simple things that my kids have learned over the past few years:
* when I spend all my pocket money on the first day I have no money for the rest of the week
* if I am late for school I am likely to get a detention from the teacher
* if I run in the house and fall over I am likely to hurt myself
* if I don't keep my room tidy I most probably can't go out and play with my friends
* if I break someone else's toy I might have to replace it with one of my favorite toys
* if I am mean to my brother chances are he won't want to play with me very often
* if I don't take my hat to school I won't get to play on the playground at lunch time
The above examples take the pressure off having to find ways to discipline our kids. We need to learn to use consequences to our advantage as much as we can. The great thing about this is that when the consequences happen we don't need to take part and growl or do anything. Most of these are natural consequences that are a direct impact of a not so good action preceding.
There are also good consequences that follow great decisions and here are a few examples:
* if my room is tidy, mom is likely to let me go to my friend's house
* if I am always at school on time I will have a good reputation and the teachers will be happy with me
* if I save some of my pocket money I will get to spend it later on in the week
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. Parents should not allow our kids to use consequences where it is a safety issue. an example would be not to let your kid run in front of a car and let them learn by getting hit by it.
Once kids understand that this is the way that the world operates they will learn to abide by the rules and then they won't see you as the enemy or spoil sport in their lives. This is important as you want to preserve your relationship with your kids as much as possible.
At least eighty percent of our interaction with our kids needs to be positive. By ensuring this we help our kids to establish their self esteem and feel good about themselves, which we all know is vitally important.
These are just a few tips to help parents rethink their plans on disciplining kids.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Spending More Time With Your Kids
As parents, we often feel that our life is a big circus. More often then not, out kids are the clowns that bring smiles and laughter to the audience and we are the jugglers, always trying to perform tasks that prevent us from spending quality family time.
We can't get away from the housekeeping duties so why not make this task a way to involve the entire family? You will get things done and in the same time spend more time together with your children, not to mention that when you involve your kids in doing household chores they will feel useful and important. What a better way to teach appreciation for the work that needs to be done and for those who do it?
The following list provides some suggestions as to what jobs are appropriate for young children:
Two and three year old toddlers can help you pick up toys, books and magazines and put them in the proper place. Buy a small broom and they can help sweep the floor. Prepare a family meal while your little ones place napkins, plates, and silverware on the table. After dinner they can clear their own place at the table and put the dishes on the counter after cleaning the leftovers off the plate. When it's time to do laundry, let them fold washcloths and socks or help you load and unload the dryer.
Four and five year olds can help you compile a grocery list and put the groceries away on lower shelves. They can set the table and help do the dishes or fill the dishwasher. When you want to make a desert, let them hold the hand mixer to mix up a cake or they can add topping to cupcakes and ice cream. They can also spread butter on sandwiches and tear up lettuce for next day's lunch. When it's time to clean the bathroom, let them scrub the sink while you scrub the bathtub and toilet.
Six to eight year olds can be a lot of help: they can water plants and flowers, take out the garbage, peel vegetables, put white clothes in one pile and colored in another. With so much help, no wonder you've got time to walk the dog together!
Remember to take time for training and work with your kids until they learn how to do the job. It may be tempting for you to do everything, thinking it is easier and faster, but you will deprive your kids of opportunities to learn and spend quality family time. Always notice their contribution instead of the quality of work and don't forget to use a sense of humor.
We can't get away from the housekeeping duties so why not make this task a way to involve the entire family? You will get things done and in the same time spend more time together with your children, not to mention that when you involve your kids in doing household chores they will feel useful and important. What a better way to teach appreciation for the work that needs to be done and for those who do it?
The following list provides some suggestions as to what jobs are appropriate for young children:
Two and three year old toddlers can help you pick up toys, books and magazines and put them in the proper place. Buy a small broom and they can help sweep the floor. Prepare a family meal while your little ones place napkins, plates, and silverware on the table. After dinner they can clear their own place at the table and put the dishes on the counter after cleaning the leftovers off the plate. When it's time to do laundry, let them fold washcloths and socks or help you load and unload the dryer.
Four and five year olds can help you compile a grocery list and put the groceries away on lower shelves. They can set the table and help do the dishes or fill the dishwasher. When you want to make a desert, let them hold the hand mixer to mix up a cake or they can add topping to cupcakes and ice cream. They can also spread butter on sandwiches and tear up lettuce for next day's lunch. When it's time to clean the bathroom, let them scrub the sink while you scrub the bathtub and toilet.
Six to eight year olds can be a lot of help: they can water plants and flowers, take out the garbage, peel vegetables, put white clothes in one pile and colored in another. With so much help, no wonder you've got time to walk the dog together!
Remember to take time for training and work with your kids until they learn how to do the job. It may be tempting for you to do everything, thinking it is easier and faster, but you will deprive your kids of opportunities to learn and spend quality family time. Always notice their contribution instead of the quality of work and don't forget to use a sense of humor.
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