How Children Learn

Nurture and Teach
The single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children’s brain development and their ability to learn. Introducing nurtured children to learning opportunities every day will help them become happy, well-adjusted adults. In all stages of child development, each experience builds on the one before it. The most basic foundations can serve as the basis for the comprehension of more complex ideas in future years.
Learning Begins at Birth
We are born with billions of brain cells – in fact, all we will ever have. What is missing is a large amount of connections – synapses – between those brain cells. Synapses start developing based on a child’s experiences. Children’s brains develop faster from birth to age three than any other time; and more learning takes place during this time than any other. The more learning opportunities parents provide for their children from birth until school age, the more synapses are made. The connections will serve as a pool of knowledge for a child to access in later years.
Because children’s earliest experiences affect how they will think, learn and behave, helping children learn from birth to school age is a crucial activity. Parents and other caregivers can create a strong foundation for learning by providing a nurturing and rich learning environment from the very beginning.
Children Seek Learning Experiences
Not only do children need to be physically active, it is their nature to look for opportunities to learn. They participate in learning by using their senses and asking countless questions in order to more fully understand the task at hand.
Creating a Learning Environment
Children enjoy learning when they can master an activity. Begin with a simple task and expand or complicate it after your child has enjoyed some successes.
Create a safe and secure learning environment. This will help children do their best learning rather than distract them. Key to creating this environment is treating your child with respect and caring.
Where Do Children Learn?
Children learn everywhere from school to the doctor’s office to the grocery store. As do adults, children learn from interacting with others and watching their parents’ behavior. Kids are highly influenced by the people in their lives, especially adults who they are close to.
Not All Children Learn in the Same Way
In the book Frame of Mind, Howard Gardner described his theory of multiple intelligences. We all have a certain way we prefer to learn. The seven multiple intelligences Gardner points to are interpersonal, intrapersonal, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial, musical, logical-mathematical and linguistic. We have the most success teaching our children when we can recognize their style of learning (as well as our style of teaching) and incorporate activities accordingly.
Playing and Learning
The main way children collect and process information is through play. Play is the repetition that reinforces old skills and encourages new ones. Because play is enjoyable, children’s minds are open. Children are capable of much learning through play because they are very receptive and relaxed. Take advantage of this benefit and select activities that are fun and educational. Your children will learn, and you will both enjoy the experience.

Children And TV

I must say all children grew up watching TV, myself included. It's a utility which everyone cannot live without. It has been for generations and yet TV easily emerges as a indispensable form of entertainment. Of cause, the Internet is fast catching up. Let us look at the positive effects and the negative effects of TV and how it can benefit or affect our children.
Benefits:

• The children can be exposed to positive content and be enriched with programs such as documentaries, educational variety shows and cartoons. Hey, I grew up watching Sesame Street, Discovery Channel and Transformers!

• Spending quality time together. Well, I remembered the days when my parents would watch the telly with me, and we will have endless laughter together. And I being the curious child, never fail to ask endless streams of questions. The bonding with the child will no doubt be better.
Drawbacks:
• Couch potato syndrome. Addiction to TV may cause the child to be withdrawn from the rest of the world, excessive eating while viewing programs can cause obesity problems.

• Emotional development. A child really needs to do more things than just watching TV. He needs constant interaction with the outside world and other kids. It is part and parcel of his development and bear that in mind, there is no substitute to that.

• Eyesight problems. Increasingly, many children these days are getting myopic. It's hard to deny that TV isn't one of the contributing factors.

• Violence. As we all know, children love to imitate. The imitations can range from wanting to fly like superman, acting like John Rambo and giving an uppercut like a Thai kick boxer. I was in that stage once, so I know. It's a fact and we have many case studies of violence by teens in recent years.

• Proper use of language. There was one point of time, the local sitcom Phua Chu Kang got so popular that children start using phrases like "Don't pray pray", and "I look you no up". It got into such frenzy that we had a Speak Good English Campaign, remember?

Of cause, it is about weighing the pros and cons. Some suggested methods include: 1. Limiting the viewing hours for your child. I was limited to 30mins a day during my time, but that was ages ago. I believe parents can do their estimation with their kids. 2. Allow selective viewing of TV programs. Family orientated sitcoms, cartoons and educational programs definitely. More exertion of control regarding programs rating PG. 3. Ban eating while watching TV. I was inculcated with this habit. My mum always say eat only when you are at the dining table, not in front of the TV. I thought that was pretty useful. 4. View TV shows with your kids. In addition, try not to let them have the luxury of a TV in their bedroom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D64CRnVNkZ0
Justine Lee contributes to articles as part of the committee of a parenting website founded in Singapore. She writes for http://www.mylittlesunshine.sg/ on a regular basis and likes to share her parenting experiences with other online readers. She is happily married to her husband Jason and have a boy who is eight years old.

HELPING A CHILD TO STOP LYING

Children under the age of 6 often tell lies.They find it difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy.Lying to them at this age may be seen as fun,or a way to deceive adults.When they get away without being caught,they feel very happy,and it may easily become apart of them to lie.
As they grow,this may become a problem in the child's life.
Parents needs to find out a way of putting a stop to this.

Why do Children lie?

• TO SEEK ATTENTION
• NEED HELP
• AVOIDING STRESSFUL SITUATION
• FEAR OF DISAPPOINTING THEIR PARENTS
• IMITATING ADULTS AROUND THEM

HELP FOR A LYING CHILD

When a child is always caught lying:He is fond of exaggerating,or he is always fond of distorting the truth in one way or the other.just as highlighted above,they do that for so many reasons.

.TO GAIN ATTENTION:Children sometimes lie to gain attention.When they feel unloved they tend to tell lies to gain the attention of their listeners.They have learnt over the time that when they distort the truth they get some attention;this sometimes compensate for their feelings of inadequacies.

AVOIDING STRESSFUL SITUATION:Sometimes children lie to avoid the consequences that they believe will happen when they do something wrong,or to avoid being reprimanded.They lie to get out of trouble.

TO DODGE RESPONSIBILITY:Some children lie to avoid tasks.They may lie about their homework.They tell parents it's done in order to,may be watch television,play games,or do any other pleasurable thing to them.They don't like being caught when they misbehave,so they lie as a way of escape.

Lying can make children do many other bad things,like stealing,diobedient.e.t.c.

Parents and caregivers need to carefully study their children,and find out why they lie.When this is done,the close thing is to help them get out of it.

WAY OUT!

• Don't accept excuse for lying.let them know point blank that LYING is not acceptable.
• Logical consequences need to be in place for a child caught lying.
• Be a good example and model to them,avoid little white lies.
• Teach children to value telling the truth at all time,no matter what the consequence may be.
• Show your disappointment when they lie.Also show them you love them,but you hate their habit of lying.
• Sing their praise whenever they say the truth!
• Let them know you CARE.

Parents need to be a bit patient with them at this point,knowing fully well that 'Rome was not built in a day!'.It may take a little time for them to unlearn the lying habit.Be understanding,and ready to go miles helping them.

You should avoid taking irrational decision when they lie.No need for a long sermon,but with love,patience,and understanding Correct them!

PEER PRESSURE

HELPING TEENAGERS TO HANDLE PEER PRESSURE

Peer pressure is not a strange thing.We all are influenced by our peers,both positively and negatively.
It helps to define who we are,and how we feel about life matters.It is how we choose to react to peer pressure that defines who we are as an individual.
Peer pressure is also a normal aspect of our teens life,as well as parents life.what we parents need to do is to take up the challenge,to stand against the negative peer pressure that can mar our children,and encourage the positive ones that can make them!

Why do teens give in to peer pressure?
There is no difference between teens and adults.They are influenced by their peer group just like adults.It is a normal thing,and they get this from adults around them almost everyday.
Everyone conforms to social standards set by peer groups,and our teens see this in us.
Therefore teenagers will tend to follow their peers behaviour that are considered not appropriate.
Another reason is that, in other for them not to lose their" so called"friends,they prefer to follow them to any length, rather than following their parents' advice.
They also believe in the 'everyone is doing it' idea.This can make them comply to pressure.
Curiosity also make teens to take risks without thinking of the eventual outcome of such,which may cause a future damage to their lives.
All these together make teens easily give in to peer pressure.
What parents should know
Peer pressure is a powerful force and not just a phrase.It can lead teens into changing the color of their hair,piercing their body,smoking,drinking,taking hard drugs,getting involved in illicit sex,and just to mention a few.Many adults do not realize the effect of peer pressure!
Parents make the mistake of believing our children do not value their opinion,but research shows that parents have a tremendous influence on their children,especially teens.This misconception make parents to relax and not taking effort to counter the negative effect of peer pressure in their children.
"What parents can do to help their teens"

1-Parents need to teach teens how to refuse offers for cigarettes,alcohol,illicit sex,and drugs.Let them know that what they say to offers goes a long way.They should be able to say words like 'no thank you',i think i have to go now'.....

2-Parents needs to talk to their children on how to avoid other children who break rules at home,and situations they know is undesirable.They should be mindful of the environment they stay in,and friends that they keep.Let them know that if they don't stay around those who have negative attitude,it is far less likely for them to behave such.And if they don't choose friends that smoke,steal,do drugs,drink,they are far less likely to do these things as well.

3-Parents should teach their children how to confide in them,and they should create such rooms for their children to be able to talk- things- out with them.They should be made to realize that it is right to seek the advice of their parents,or any trusted adults when they find it difficult to avoid difficult situations such as offers to smoke,drink or use drugs.

4-Parents need to NURTURE strong self-esteem in their children.This will help them in making decision,even if their peers feel otherwise.Self esteem helps them to follow their decisions.Parent should teach their children how to perceive themselves in positive ways,and avoid ridiculing their children when they make mistakes.

REMEMBER!

Your children will NEVER forget the values you give to them!They may not always use them,especially because of peer pressure sometimes,but these values stick with them through their adolescence age and into their young adulthood.

So do not be tired of playing your part in helping our teens in following the right parts in life.Peer pressure is an issue every parent needs to handle with all seriousness.

HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN ARGUING AND TALKING BACK

Sometimes conversation with our children could turn into arguments.If this happens and you suddenly find yourself in a very hot argument,and you get caught in your words,you feel very bad as a parent that you overreact to your child.

Gradually this action might be endearing,but on a day to day basis it becomes something you don't like,frustrating and it affect the family.

Learning to stop this bad attitude in our children does not have to be difficult but it requires some efforts from parents.

Firstly, parents need to be ready to listen to their children completely.

Secondly,parent should be have a well spelt out rule to guide their child's attitude.

Parents should be ready to consistently stick to their guns when it comes to saying "NO" to their children.Don't say a no in a moment and change it again.Lean to be firm with your decisions expecially when you need to,no matter their whining and "making of face".

NAGGING CHILDREN

Some children will repeat a request time and again,sometimes at odd moments.No matter what the occasion the child present,and the argument that follows the request parent should not bother to repeat their answer.say what you have to say only once and don't repeat yourself again.You may even walk away or ignore the child.Don't allow his endless repetition wear you out to succumb to his wishes.

COMPLAINING CHILDREN

Some of them may not be happy with your decision and they show it to you.

They may even murmur all the way to show their disapproval through completing the task given to them.Eventually when they notice that no amount of complaining changes anything,they quit.

NOTE:

If the child becomes rude or disrespectful in his complaint,it is time to bring down the consequences of his behavior.

Dealing with his lack of compliance doesn"t have to result in argument.Perhaps the easiest way to prevent such is to have some'ground rules'.You need to take time to explain that every good debate needs rules,they will be happy to listen to you.This is best done when there is no argument,not In the midst of argument.

RULES TO BE DISCUSS:

• NO SCREAMING,YELLING,AND ABUSIVE LANGUAGE.
• VOICES REMAIN AT NORMAL LEVEL
• EVERY PERSON IS ALLOWED TO FINISH THEIR SENTENCES
• NO SARCASM.Parents can use end of discussion statement,such as:"this topic is no longer open for discussion"

Another way to stop argument is to offer other choices for a child.And if they would not want to take this,parent should remain firm on their resolution.

If you have a child that has added disrespectful back talking to his way of communication within the family,it is good to announce that such behavior will no longer be put up with.Show them a number of consequences that will follow their back talking.They should increase in seriousness.You may begin with simple loses of privileges,such as no watching of video games for the day,no use of phone,and anything else that you know will touch the child ,and will remind him that talking back is no longer a profitable business.

It is very important for these consequences to be clear to the child,and also what constitute an offense.Once this is clear to the child it is now left for you to actually follow through on these rules that you laid down.Know this that the child will like to test your resolve,so you have to be prepared!

THREE TIPS TO DEAL WITH THEM

1. Stop the conversation as soon as your child becomes respectful
2. Walk away from your child and do not allow yourself to get drown into battle of words.
3. Once you both have cooled down,it is time to mete out a previously agreed upon consequences.

If after all these you still notice a particular phrase or method of communication is out of character for your child,recognise that you have to take the pain of explaining why a certain phrase is disrespectful and why you will not permit him to use it again.

It is also very important as parents to commit our children into God's hands.God can touch their heart and change them for good.And we we as parents will have the desired peace in the family.

TOILET TRAINING

AT THE AGE OF 2YEARS AND 3 MONTHS, JOHN IS BLADDER-TRAINED.TWO PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS(ONE AT SIXTEEN MONTH AND ONE AT TWENTY MONTHS,FOUR MONTH AFTER THE BIRTH OF HIS BROTHER)WERE UNSUCCESSFUL.AT TWENTY-SEVEN MONTHS MY WIFE DECIDED THAT SINCE SHE WAS READY FOR JOHN TO BE TRAINED,JOHN SHOULD BE READY TOO.THUS SHE PUT "TRAINING PANTS" ON HIM(UNDERPANTS MADE OF VERY THICK ABSORBENT COTTON)AFTER ONE WEEK OF CONSTANTLY WETTING AND CHANGING HER TRAINING PANTS,JOHN RESPONDED APPROPRIATELY TO THE"POTTY CHAIR"AT MY SISTER'S HOUSE.FROM THAT DAY FORWARD,DESPITEAN OCCASIONAL ACCIDENT,HE HAS BEENEMPTYING HIS BLADDER IN THE SOCIALLY ACCEPTRD PLACE.BOWEL TRAINING OCCURE 3 MONTHS LATER.ONE REASON FOR THE LATER ARRIVAL OF BOWEL TRAINING,WHICH IN MANY CHILDREN PRECEDE BLADDER TRAINING,ISJOHN"S TENDENCY TO CONSTIPATION,WHICH OFTEN MAKES HIM RELUCTANT TO MOVE HIS BOWEL ON CUE.
BEFORE CHILDREN CAN CONTROL THEIR ELIMINATION,THEY HAVE TO LEARN A LOT.THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IS EXPECTED OF THEM-THAT THERE IS A PROPER TIME AND A PROPER PLACE TO ELIMINATE;THEY HAVE TO BE FAMILIER WITH THE FEELINGS THAT INDICATE THE NEED TO ELIMINATE:AND THEY HAVE TO LEAN THE TIGHTENING OF THESPHINCTER MUSCLE TO INHIBIT ELIMINATION AND LOSEN THEM TO PERMIT IT.
GENERALLY,THE LATER TOILET IS BEGUN,THE FASTERA CHILD LEARN.RESEARCH SHOWS THAT MOST PARENTS BEGIN THE TRAINING EARLIER,AT ABOUT 11 MONTHS,ACHIEVING SUCCESS SOME 7 MONTHS LATER.WHEN TRAINING IS BEGUN BEFORE A CHILD IS FIVE MONTHS OLD,IT USUALLY TAKES 10MONTHS TO COMPLETE;BUT WHEN BEGUN LATER THAN 20MONTHS SUCCESS COMES ONLY ABOUT 5 MONTHS OF TRAINING.
THE PARENTS WHO SCOLDED AND PUNISHED THERE CHILDREN A GREAT DEAL DURUNG THE PROCESS DID NOT COMPLETE THE TRAINING ANY SOONER THAN THE OTHER EASY GOING PARENT'SBUT OFTEN PRODUCED EMOTIONAL UPSET IN THEIR CHILDREN.
OTHER STUDIES SHOWS THAT GIRL'S BECAME DRY-BOTH DURING THE DAY AND THE NIGHT THAN BOYS DURING THEIR FIRST TWO YEARS OF LIFE,DUE TO THEIR EARLIER MATURATION!